The Bard’s Golden Throat

"This golden, amethyst-encrusted microphone imbues the following benefits when it is equipped: The Golden Throat enhancement. Amplification. Nuclear power. The airplane. Transistors. Antibiotics. Important inventions and discoveries of the 1900’s that changed the world. But those were nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to the greatest invention of the century. It happened in September of 1997. That was the day it all changed. That was the day a company called Antares Audio Technologies released into the wild a piece of software that finally cured a horrific disability that’d been plaguing young men and women for a millennia. The disability? Tone deafness. The cure? It was called AutoTune. With the advent of the real-time vocal synthesizer, underprivileged youths such as T-Pain, Kanye, and Ke$ha were finally able to crawl out from underneath their ordinary lives and become the shining stars they were destined to be. At the same time, aging musicians, *cough* like Cher, were able to keep their stars aloft just a little longer, proving once and for all that nothing, not even the lack of natural talent, could stop the upward momentum of technology. Charisma plus 5% when equipped."